rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

This weekend rivercityvibe achieved its largest number of visitors for a two day period since the Kiran Chetry thong imbroglio, attributable to nothing.

Twitter sure as shit is doing nothing for us.

In celebration, here’s that one guy and the other guy, singing (the dancing is notable):

Ain’t no stoppin’ us now
We’re on the move (yeah-ee-a, yeah-ee-a)
Ain’t no stoppin’ us now
We’ve got the groove
Spice Girls, check it out

There’ve been so many things that have held us down
But now it looks like things are finally comin’ around, yeah
I know we’ve got a long long way to go, yeah
And where we’ll end up
I don’t know
But we won’t let nothing hold us back
We gonna get ourselves together
We gonna polish up our act, yeah
And if you’ve ever been held down before
I know that you refuse to be held down any more, yeah yeah
Don’t you let nothing, nothing
Nothing stand in your way
And all we gonna do
I want you to listen, listen (That’s right)
To every word I say
Every word I say about it

Ain’t no stoppin’ us now (That’s right)
We’re on the move
(Nothing gonna, nothing gonna)
(Stop us now, stop us now)
Ain’t no stoppin’ us now, Come on
We’ve got the groove (Whoo-oo-oo yeah yeah)
Ain’t no stoppin’ us now (No no no)
We’re on the move
(On the move, yeah-ee-a, yeah-ee-a)
Ain’t no stoppin’ us now
We’ve got the groove (Yeah)

Now, let’s see it
Don’t wanna stop
Please don’t make me stop (I don’t wanna)
Don’t wanna stop
Please don’t make me stop (No-oh No-oh)
Don’t wanna stop
Please don’t make me stop (I don’t want to)
Don’t wanna stop
Please don’t make me stop
(Uh, y’all spell it out for me)

Ain’t no stoppin’ us now
We’re on the move
Don’t wanna stop, please don’t make me stop (Yeah yeah)
Ain’t no stoppin’ us now (Yeah)
We’ve got the groove
Don’t wanna stop, please don’t make me stop
(Whoo-oo, Come around with me)

Ain’t no stoppin’ us now
We’re on the move

Those foolish blankets with sleeves all over the TV are selling like hotcakes. I was in Target on Roosevelt Boulevard just now and they are being sold as if they were frankincense, myrrh and a cure for cancer all rolled into one.

Apparently the marketing geniuses that have worked out a way to sell warm blankets to Floridians (they sell well in Hawaii and New Mexico too. Go figure), are involved in a patenting battle that is getting uglier and uglier. Before we discuss this in detail, let’s watch a VERY funny parody. I can’t work out if it is SFW, so use your judgment and don’t watch it if your boss is a sort of Pol Pot (without the Khmer sense of humor…..):

The controversy is centered on a battle between the ubiquitous Snuggie, and a predecessor called the Slanket. There is also a stalking horse with the even more stupid name of the Freedom Blanket (I have no information as to whether Grand Moff Cheyney was involved in the naming. Though early indications are that Donald Rumsfeld was). All three are vying for something or other. The NYT has the story, but our buddies at Gawker have some things to say about it that a more to the point:

For those people, Slanket inventor Gay Clegg has a message: The Snuggie is shit.

A snowboarder who has competed professionally, Mr. Clegg, 29, grows a scruffy beard between QVC appearances and has a laid-back, surfer-dude attitude, reflected in the Slanket’s motto: “Spread the Warmth.” But the Snuggie leaves him cold; he calls it a “cheap knockoff” that “undermines the integrity” of his Slanket.

I have to say, the Slanket does seem to be going for a cooler, less disabled, vibe, but that does not answer my question. Who buys these things? I have a 17 year old olive green Helly Hansen field jacket which I (once every three years or so), will don (good word) to watch TV. It can also be used for a trip to the store, or while sailing, fishing or hunting. There is no need for anything more………… Let’s face it, you’d look a bit of a tit rocking up at Starbucks in your Slanket.

Now if I could actually get a Thneed, that would be different……

This is Danneel Harris. Two interesting points to make here: 1. She will be 30 years old on the 18th of March. 2. Her parents were illiterate or drunk when they filled out her birth certificate.

It is spelled D-A-N-I-E-L-L-E, fuck-knuckles.

Thirty? Congratulations are in order.......

I should point out that this pic is from a 2008 Maxim shoot. I’ve always liked Maxim. I get it when I can’t find the New Criterion or 2000 AD.

Lat year, I went to see British band Arctic Monkeys in Atlanta. It was one of the better shows I have been to in recent years. I took a large entourage and a burly minder to deter the hoi polloi. I enjoyed the songs very much.

The memory of that, and the fact that I am currently sunning myself (sort of – it’s bright, but cold) in Creon, France,  reminded me of a clip I saw of Arctic Monkeys on French TV some time ago. Let’s watch and then discuss:

Okay. Good tune. And he starts laughing in the middle. You know what’s coming next don’t you……?

That insanely hot babe in the ridiculous outfit*  is dancing in her seat like a barely-medicated epileptic.

She is, isn’t she? That, I will put money on it, is why he laughed. How could one NOT when faced with Les Euro-Dance?

She’d get it though. Her name is Emma De Caunes. Here she is:

She's going straight onto the Bedside List

I wonder if she’ll be at the bistro later on………

(* Why are the French always considered so well-dressed? In my experience, le look is that of a headstrong child rebelling against mommy).

I was browsing the fabulous Jacksonville Confidential recently (though not of Jacksonville’s gay community myself, I am supportive of it). I came across a clip of the Pet Shop Boys at the Brit Awards that I had missed in the mainstream media. It was a medley (GREAT word) of their songs and it reminded me of how unbelievably brilliant these two are.

I love their vibe.

There’s a Orwell/Burgess thing going on that makes you expect the songs to be sung in Nadsat or Newspeak. Also, I am REALLY digging the bowler hat and the marching Koreans. This is basically the best thing to happen to youtube since 2 Girls 1 Cup was removed:

The performance also features Lady Gaga and Brandon Flowers (both of which, I strongly suspect, are made-up names).

Lindsay is our favorite. I think we have established that. In celebration, here are some pictures recently taken by celebrity photographer, Hedi Slimane:

Hedi Slimane is French. By coincidence, the wonders of modern technology have allowed me to post this from the comfort of a first class cabin on the TGV, headed for Bordeaux.

How the fuck do you like THEM apples?

Apparently Madonna wore millions of dollars worth of jewelry at the Oscars, Sunday. OK! Magazine reports that the singer was festooned (good word) with “ice” for the ceremony and her own hosted after-party. OK! goes for a “recession” angle for the story.

Not as haggard as usual. But quite hairy.

Apparently, the Material Girl (see what I did there?) wore:

– A black and white diamond chain with 500 carats of the shiny stones
 (here)
– A diamond bangle with 25 carats of diamonds and platinum
 (here)
– An onyx and diamond bracelet with 50 carats of diamonds  
(here)
– A pair of diamond pear shape earrings of 20 carats each
 (here and here)
– A square diamond and onyx ring

 (here)

Of course sort of thing pales into insignificance compared to the baubles I recently bestowed upon my Regular Thing. Edible jewelery is not just for kids, anymore…….

I am going on vacation for a week, but will continue to blog. I will be in France, near a beach and I very much hope to emulate the experiences of Jacques Tati’s wonderful Monsieur Hulot in the funniest French film ever made, Les Vacances de Monsieur Hulot (1953). I am happy to report that youtube has come up trumps, as per usual, and I can share with you a clip. It’s basically one of my favorite films, along with Weird Science and The Empire Strikes Back:

Actually, the sort of sequel to this, Mon Oncle, may be funnier. Get them both. You won’t regret it.

Au revoir, tout le monde…….

Klum has featured a great deal on these pages, for good reason. She is beautiful, goofy and kind-of-cool, (in a married-to-Seal kind of a way). She is also unreservedly and undeniably German. Her Aryan genes were never more in evidence that at last night’s Oscars where she eschewed her usual hairstyle in favor of a plastered-down blond look that reminded me of that one girl, the Nazi collaborator, in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade:

Ve hav vays of etc

As I look at this picture I can, ever so faintly, hear the strains of Lili Marlene….. I could almost be there….. west of Benghazi……. on Road Watch…….

Underneath the lantern by the barrack gate
Darling I remember the way you used to wait
Twas there that you whispered tenderly
That you loved me
You’d always be
My Lili of the lamplight
My own Lili Marlene

Resting in a billet just behind the line
Even tho’ we’re parted your lips are close to mine
You wait where that lantern softly gleams
Your sweet face seems to haunt my dreams
My Lili of the lamplight
My own Lili Marlene

When we are marching in the mud and cold,
And when my pack seems more than I can hold
My love for you renews my might
I’m warm again
My pack is light
It’s you Lili Marlene
It’s you Lili Marlene

I was distracted by Goldie Hawn’s MILF Rack a little during last nights Oscars Ceremony. Many people have made snide comments about her chest in the past, but I’m fine with it:

Remember, stylists, "lift and separate"

The Las Vegas Style Examiner had some catty comments to make about Hawn. Apparently someone does not like her dress. To highlight this, they added some made-up words to the usual baby-talk that passes as journalism in these circles. In this case a lady called Susan Stapleton wrote:

A couple things could have fixed Goldie Hawn’s look: some type of shapewear underneath, a bit larger dress on top so that her breasts weren’t smashed. But learn something from this look. Your chest never should look this smooshed on the red carpet.

Seriously, that’s barely recognizable as English.

[by the way, I have just browsed every photo available online of Style Editor Susan Stapleton. She is kind of hot, actually, but the way she dresses hardly gives her a mandate to criticize others in her 6th grade English. And, from what I can tell, her tits are nothing to write home about, either.]