rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

My buddy Drew and his brother Curt are blocking off the street in Riverside to celebrate that most American of holidays, St. Patrick’s Day. It goes without saying that I’ll be there with my camera. There’s multiple live leprechauns for chrissakes!

O’Brothers is on Margaret Street, in Riverside. Festivities begin at 7 pm, tomorrow night. More information HERE.

It was easy, as always. I ran in disguise, under a false name, so as to avoid the faithful. This one guy, pictured below, from the Spartacus Gay Dating agency? That was not me. He was a legend, though (a Greek legend…..*). I hope he gets lots of new clients.

Joshua fought the battle of Jericho. Dressed like that.

The girl who came second in the womens’ field was a pale ginger. The usual warnings apply. She was quick though. Jeepers. Like greased weasel shit.

My knees hurt.

(* so many clever jokes in here, I don’t know where to start. I can only advise you to take your time).

LATER: I have been asked to point out that the Gate River Run is a 15 KM road race that takes place annually in the River City. It is famous etc. Happy now, Douglas (from Nova Scotia, Canada)?!

I generally get wine delivered by the case to Bones HQ. It is a system that can be automated, so I do not have to rely on my sundry minions to make choices for me. Thus I avoid the traumatic clusterfucks of the past (Chinese Sparkling Wine-Drink? I think not, Donald).

Occasionally, however, I am missing something from my cellar. A couple of days ago, it was noted by my Regular Thing that we had run out of Muscat which had been earmarked for “dessert” (we were giving dinner to some business magnates who had flown in, eager to hear my post-France report. They rely on me for updates on various matters of significance…..). When these situations arise there is only one person to see: Bernie, at Wine Warehouse, on Edgewood.

Now I love wine (and most other boozes). But I adore beer. That’s a fact. So, imagine my delight when my Regular Thing came back, not only with the required Muscat, but also with a beer I have never tried before. Now try and imagine my joy when it turned out to be DOUBLE AWESOME!

A Delicious Beverage

I would say, actually, that I enjoyed this Lagunitas IPA more than a Dogfish Head IPA (60, I mean. The others cannot be beat). I know that India Pale Ales are massively over-exposed at the moment, but I am excusing myself by simply stating that they are particularly delicious…….

Go and see Bernie and get half a dozen of these badgers. You won’t regret it.

Two world class Rugby League teams descend on Jacksonville this weekend as guests of the Jacksonville Axemen, our local gang of sports-hooligans. I went to the international game last year (it takes place annually). There I witnessed a team from Yorkshire, England, DESTROY a team from Sydney, Australia. I am glad to see that the Axemen’s Spinner Howland (himself Australian) who arranges this game every year, had the sense to dispense with the  southern hemisphere this time. He’s arranged for the game to be played by two teams from what the usual source tells me is the cradle and spiritual home of Rugby –  the north of England.

For reasons that I will not (cannot, without a pain) go into, I won’t be attending the game this year. I will, however, have agents there to report on it. There’s a lot of tailgating involved and it will be huge.

One thing I am not missing is tonight’s  pre-game party at my buddy Drew’s O’Brothers pub in Five Points. The Axe Maiden Cheerleaders will be there, and the festivities start at 7.30 pm. I’ll report on it tomorrow, probably…….

I had been trying to dislike Avondale bistro, Orsay. I LOVED Crush, its predecessor, and was, I now realize, unreasonably put out by the fact that Crush had better french fries  and that Orsay’s management put such great store on now offering cocktails. Like I want a chocolate martini with my Onglets de Bouef……

Also, and this is critical. I expect restaurants to follow industry convention and have a HOT, HOT, HOT babe as a greeter. Sadly absent at Orsay.

But that’s as much criticism as they are getting. For my fourth visit I took foodie friends with me from the beach. They loved it, and so did I. From the beginning to the end of the experience, it was Jacksonville Excellent. The service, however, was Jacksonville Outstanding. Let me explain why.

Spelled "complement" wrong, I'm afraid.

I arrived half loaded, so did not fancy the switch from beer to wine. I noticed that they only had Bass on draft (other than hateful lagers) so I asked our server Matt (who will be from now, known as Super Matt) if they had any bottled Sierra Nevada. He, in his rock star cool way, answered in the negative. I lamented the fact, and he said, full of confidence,  “Don’t worry, sir. I can do this.”

Before I could restrain him, he was out the door and sprinting for the Liquor Store opposite (did I detect a little showmanship in his comedy run….?) . I watched Super Matt through the glass. He picked up a six pack, paid for it, and returned to the restaurant via the OTHER door (nice touch, Super Matt).

Seconds later, a frosty cold mug of palatable beer appeared. The fact that I had alienated and annoyed my whole party by ‘imposing’ on Super Matt in this way, lent a certain frisson to our table atmosphere. Super Matt wasn’t bothered. He took it all in his stride. The legend.

We had girls with us, so were forced to order plates of things and share them. I hate this style of feeding, but the food made up for it. It was Jacksonville Excellent –  very enjoyable and cooked to perfection. The upside of the sharing thing, was, of course, I could eat most of what was provided. And I did (leading to more tension).

Orsay is awesome (see what I did there?). Go tonight. Call Crystal on 904 381 0909.

One of my favorite things about Jacksonville is the fact that you can go to Pete’s at Neptune Beach at 9 am on Thanksgiving day and drink beer and Bloody Marys through until 2 pm. Sure it means leaving 32210 and crossing the ditch, but it is worth it. All sorts turn up, from the usual Pete’s ne’er do wells, to the beau monde of Jacksonville society. I went with one of my best drinking cronies and took some pictures.

Love it.

Pete's Native American contingent

The two girls above are named Summer Camp and Wind Dancer. They are Cherokee and Seminole, respectively, and COMPLETELY RULE……

Veronica's Veil

Jordyn and Randy from Veronica’s Veil put in an appearance. rivercityvibe will speak a lot more about these legends before they abandon these shores for Barcelona (you heard it here first). Jordyn was with her sister, who is EXTREMELY hot.

Very festive, Lori!

Lori had COMMITTED to the celebration. No prisoners.

Brock rocks.

Brock was there, dressed after his usual fashion. We spent a long time discussing the fact that “Brock” is Old English for Badger.

Nicole and Allison. Something of a breath of fresh air......

We ran into Allison and Nicole on our way out. They have the rivercityvibe in spades. God bless ’em…….

[For our readers who are not fortunate enough to live in the river city I should point out that Pete’s is as famous as bars get, having featured in literature from Hemingway to Grisham (read The Brethren). It is also a proper bar, where people go to drink. Rare enough in these parts and in this day and age, and a concept that I wholeheartedly support].

Happy Thanksgiving!

Saturday was a day that will be remembered in infamy by my regular thing. It was she who had to scrape me off the tarmac outside the YMCA whence I had wandered, apparently, from the Landing, which I had reached, evidently, via some watercraft or other after a prolonged tailgating session…….

Needless to say, the tailgating was beyond awesome. The festive mood was off the dial and Gator’s and Dawgs alike approached the celebrations in a mood of mutual admiration and commitment to shared fellowship.

Well some of them did. Others, like these guys below,  sought to subvert the whole deal by masquerading as Dawgs when they were really dyed-in-the-wool Gators. They effectively established a fifth column among Dawg supporters:

Consorting with the enemy?

All is revealed

I am already looking forward to next year.

What’s that?

You want to know the score?

You mean who won the game?

I haven’t a clue. Google it.

My business interests had me moving in mysterious ways downtown, last night. I rarely go there, preferring to stick close to HQ or hideout in 32210. I was BLOWN away by the preparations for the Game, Saturday. Basically, the periphery of downtown has been turned into a series of RV parks and the tailgating has begun in earnest. This is on Wednesday. The game is Saturday.

For our foreign readers (this week we welcome Lithuania and the Seychelles to the party – sveiki and Bonjou, my friends!) the big deal is the annual football game between the University of Florida Gators and the University of Georgia bulldogs. It is played in Jacksonville every year and it is chaos, pure chaos. In a good way.

My camera went missing recently, (in circumstances that indicate the possible involvement of a meth head – more on the investigation and planned retribution to follow), so I was unable to take my own pics. The local rag is running a series:

Pandemonium

Obviously, in common with most of Jacksonville, I won’t actually be going to the game, but I WILL be going to the tailgate and I’ll be taking a (new) camera. Keep your eyes open for me. If you are ridiculous enough, you could be featured on…. rivercityvibe!

Don’t think it is uncool to be very, very excited about this weekend’s NAS Jax Airshow. It’s not.

In fact, It’s seriously uncool NOT to be excited about seeing the Blue Angels, the USAF F-15 Eagle West Coast Demo team, the USAF F-16 Viper East Coast Demo team and the 82nd Airborne Division’s freefall team.

I mean, c’mon. What are you, un-American? Any more of that kind of talk and I’ll set Michele Bachman (R-MI) on you.

Saturday, I shall be  watching the whole thing from the comfort of a floating Gin-Palace on the St. John’s River. Sunday, I will be attending the event itself, looking at the static displays and watching some hardcore Civil War Reenactors. That’s right, the guys from Confederates in the Attic will be there. [Bones Note: I have many tales to tell of these guys. Get used to seeing them mentioned here].

Of course the main attraction will be the military fast jets, and their daring aerobatics. I can’t wait. Here is a taster:

I have to admit, the NAS airshow is right up there with Thanksgiving morning at Pete’s as a highlight of the year.

I’ll see y’all there.

I have all but given up listening to NPR. I used to have Morning Edition on in the car, but lately I’ve found it makes me  stressed. Whether it’s Chinese influence in the Congo, or the mysterious absence of ecologically-vital honey bees in the central states, there’s always something that leaves me feeling vaguely ill-at-ease.

So I’ve ditched radio while driving and instead, pass the time by counting the number of Salt Life stickers on the back of cars. There are hundreds (Can anyone explain to me what is that about?).

There is one show, however, on Jacksonville station WJCT, which has the opposite effect. I am talking about the uplifting and ever-brilliant Electro Lounge. In a town in which (let’s face it) it is considered cool to play The Smiths (get OVER it, Five Points…..), it is great to have quality, modern music available.

nice helmet

Look at the line-up for the first hour tonight. Check it, check it, yeah yeah…….

9:00) Taj Mahal w/Jack Johnson – Further On Down The Road

9:05) Spearhead – U Can’t Sing R Song

9:10) Morcheeba – Otherwise

9:14) Cashbah 73 feat Mariella Gonzalez – Vinyl Junkie

9:18) Taj Mahal feat Ziggy Marley – Black Man, Brown Man

9:22) Dope Head Blues – Victoria Spivey

9:25) Rockerfeller Druglaw Blues – The Felice Brothers

9:30) The Drinking Song – Loudon Wainwright III

9:35) Aliison Moyet – That Old Devil Called Love

9:41) Botanica – Age Of Irony

9:44) Ezio – All I Really Want

9:47) De_Phazz – Something Special

9:50) Everything But The Girl – Single

9:55) Big Joe Turner – Wine-O-Baby Boogie

So, tonight’s homework is simple. Listen to the Electro Lounge.  Wallow in it. Do so, and you have taken an important step toward lifestyle optimization…..