rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

I listened to AC DC’s seminal Back in Black for the first time in years at a buddy’s house on Saturday night.

Most of the cool folks know that Joe’s more of a trip hop, funk, soul kind of a brother, but this is a classic. It was also the first album I ever bought, in 1981.

Hearing the bells at the beginning of Hells Bells brought back memories….  I had won fiscal recognition of my dangerous intellect and as a reward, my mother and father bought me a Cassette Player and two cassettes of my choosing……

One of these two cassettes  was Back in Black. The other was the audiobook of Flash Gordon and the Lion Men of Mongo……..

Flash rescued Dale Arden in it. As usual.

Apart from the insight this gives you into the development of a child into an adolescent, it also says something about my taste. In music or science-fiction, it is faultless.

It’s back on our screens. Vinny has a beard and looks like a kiddie-fiddler. Drama is in love with the French chick with a Viking fetish from Season 4. Turtle is getting laid (he has had to go to Mexico to do it….) and Eric is slowly morphing into Ari. Check out the suits on the beach:

I have always loved Entourage. Remind me to tell you sometime how similar my removal from a big agency was to Ari’s firing in Series 2 …….. My speech was better though. Apart from the fact that it was delivered under my breath in the cab on the way home.

Season 5 is on HBO 10 pm Sundays. Episode 1 available On Demand right now. I’ll probably watch it again at lunchtime.

The best bit of the recent onstage attack on the chimp-faced Gallagher brothers was the reaction of Liam. If you watch carefully you see him adopt the classic aggressive stance seen only in British towns (and certain areas of New York) at about midnight most Fridays.

If you’d like to try it at home, it involves standing legs apart chin back and chest thrust out, arms by the side, hands in fists, and literally bouncing, stiff-legged toward the object of your aggression, led by your chest. All the while, you say things like. “You ‘avin it? C’mon, ah’ll fuckin’ ‘ave ya! C’mon! You ‘avin it…..?”

Oasis: The Legend of Greystoke

Good of Liam to do this, while his brother lay in a mess of broken guitars and ribs, groaning softly……

When I learn how to embed video, I’ll put up the footage.

Don’t hold your breath.

(Here it is. it turns out that “blogging” is laughably simple…….)

For those of us whose role in life is to mock, the celeb wars of recent years have been like manna from heaven. You may recall that prior to Paris Hilton’s arrest (for whatever it was) and her subsequent pathetic performance whilst incarcerated (If I was her publicist I would have arranged a pre-prison conduct-after-capture course with the SEALS), all the attention was on Paris Hilton vs. Lindsay Lohan. Who is the most popular, who is most worthy of our admiration?

It was around this time that some losers in Jacksonville got rather carried away. Who can forget the ill-fated Club Paris at the Landing.

Embarrassing ain’t the word.

Anyway, I have got to say, I have always been squarely for Lindsay. For a start, she is an actress, has been to drama school, taken lessons. For the movies she has made she has been paid millions of dollars. Earnings.

Paris, on the other hand, has a rich dad.

But there are other key reasons, why I much prefer Lyndsay to Paris:

And don’t say this post is sexist. Because its not.

If there is one person in Jacksonville who I would term, after the Australian fashion, a “dead-set legend,” it would be the Jags Dog Man (JDM). Every day, come rain-or-shine, he is out there, opposite Bank of America, at Roosevelt Mall, hawking his delicious hot dogs. He usually poles up around 12 pm (though he did say, that if he wanted to make money he’d be better to turn-up at 11 am. He’s such a legend, he CAN”T BE BOTHERED!). His dogs range from standard dollar ball-park franks, right through to some specialized Italian sausage (“flown in from Naples by a buddy of mine…..”) which retail for plenty and the silver-tongued devil always talks me into……

Solar powered since 1996.......

Ask the JDM about himself. He is an interesting guy. (get him to tell you about the time when a Buddhist monk asked if he would “make him one with everything……..”).

A couple of saucy little jokes in there, JDM.......

I first met the legend at a posh party in Ortega. He was down at the bottom of the garden, doling out high-end sausage to girls in summer dresses and boob jobs. We hit it off. Like I say, he’s an interesting guy, the JDM.

If you want something decent to eat at your next party, give him a call 904 534 7461. He owns jagdog.com, too, but believes the world is not ready for his type of web content just yet.

Is it possible that we have the opportunity to elect the perfect woman to within a heartbeat of leader of the free world?

"I presume this is loaded with one-in-three tracer?"

She can handle a weapon, for sure. (This is the line you were waiting for. Joe knows. Joe is happy to oblige….)

Let us give thanks to those intrepid folks who brought us live coverage of Tropical Storm Fay and are, even now, steeling their nerves to brave the elements again for  Hurricane Hanna (LIVE!). Reporting the weather during hurricane season is the macho alternative to war reporting, for hacks who cannot be away from home for too long (“I’d love to report from Lashkar Gar, but who’d feed my pets…?”)

This piece in the Post has it about right. I love anything with Geraldo Rivera in it. He hasn’t yet captured Bin Laden, but by God, he will make up for it with a rainy day in Florida.

By the way, six ( or so) boats sank in the NAS Jax Marina, during Fay. Ouch.

I’ll be honest with you, politically, I lean towards “utter MILF”. Ask anyone.

"I declare a state of emergency... in Joe's pants."

Apparently, her daughter goes a bit too………..