rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

Lat year, I went to see British band Arctic Monkeys in Atlanta. It was one of the better shows I have been to in recent years. I took a large entourage and a burly minder to deter the hoi polloi. I enjoyed the songs very much.

The memory of that, and the fact that I am currently sunning myself (sort of – it’s bright, but cold) in Creon, France,  reminded me of a clip I saw of Arctic Monkeys on French TV some time ago. Let’s watch and then discuss:

Okay. Good tune. And he starts laughing in the middle. You know what’s coming next don’t you……?

That insanely hot babe in the ridiculous outfit*  is dancing in her seat like a barely-medicated epileptic.

She is, isn’t she? That, I will put money on it, is why he laughed. How could one NOT when faced with Les Euro-Dance?

She’d get it though. Her name is Emma De Caunes. Here she is:

She's going straight onto the Bedside List

I wonder if she’ll be at the bistro later on………

(* Why are the French always considered so well-dressed? In my experience, le look is that of a headstrong child rebelling against mommy).

I was browsing the fabulous Jacksonville Confidential recently (though not of Jacksonville’s gay community myself, I am supportive of it). I came across a clip of the Pet Shop Boys at the Brit Awards that I had missed in the mainstream media. It was a medley (GREAT word) of their songs and it reminded me of how unbelievably brilliant these two are.

I love their vibe.

There’s a Orwell/Burgess thing going on that makes you expect the songs to be sung in Nadsat or Newspeak. Also, I am REALLY digging the bowler hat and the marching Koreans. This is basically the best thing to happen to youtube since 2 Girls 1 Cup was removed:

The performance also features Lady Gaga and Brandon Flowers (both of which, I strongly suspect, are made-up names).

Lindsay is our favorite. I think we have established that. In celebration, here are some pictures recently taken by celebrity photographer, Hedi Slimane:

Hedi Slimane is French. By coincidence, the wonders of modern technology have allowed me to post this from the comfort of a first class cabin on the TGV, headed for Bordeaux.

How the fuck do you like THEM apples?

Apparently Madonna wore millions of dollars worth of jewelry at the Oscars, Sunday. OK! Magazine reports that the singer was festooned (good word) with “ice” for the ceremony and her own hosted after-party. OK! goes for a “recession” angle for the story.

Not as haggard as usual. But quite hairy.

Apparently, the Material Girl (see what I did there?) wore:

– A black and white diamond chain with 500 carats of the shiny stones
 (here)
– A diamond bangle with 25 carats of diamonds and platinum
 (here)
– An onyx and diamond bracelet with 50 carats of diamonds  
(here)
– A pair of diamond pear shape earrings of 20 carats each
 (here and here)
– A square diamond and onyx ring

 (here)

Of course sort of thing pales into insignificance compared to the baubles I recently bestowed upon my Regular Thing. Edible jewelery is not just for kids, anymore…….

I am going on vacation for a week, but will continue to blog. I will be in France, near a beach and I very much hope to emulate the experiences of Jacques Tati’s wonderful Monsieur Hulot in the funniest French film ever made, Les Vacances de Monsieur Hulot (1953). I am happy to report that youtube has come up trumps, as per usual, and I can share with you a clip. It’s basically one of my favorite films, along with Weird Science and The Empire Strikes Back:

Actually, the sort of sequel to this, Mon Oncle, may be funnier. Get them both. You won’t regret it.

Au revoir, tout le monde…….

Klum has featured a great deal on these pages, for good reason. She is beautiful, goofy and kind-of-cool, (in a married-to-Seal kind of a way). She is also unreservedly and undeniably German. Her Aryan genes were never more in evidence that at last night’s Oscars where she eschewed her usual hairstyle in favor of a plastered-down blond look that reminded me of that one girl, the Nazi collaborator, in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade:

Ve hav vays of etc

As I look at this picture I can, ever so faintly, hear the strains of Lili Marlene….. I could almost be there….. west of Benghazi……. on Road Watch…….

Underneath the lantern by the barrack gate
Darling I remember the way you used to wait
Twas there that you whispered tenderly
That you loved me
You’d always be
My Lili of the lamplight
My own Lili Marlene

Resting in a billet just behind the line
Even tho’ we’re parted your lips are close to mine
You wait where that lantern softly gleams
Your sweet face seems to haunt my dreams
My Lili of the lamplight
My own Lili Marlene

When we are marching in the mud and cold,
And when my pack seems more than I can hold
My love for you renews my might
I’m warm again
My pack is light
It’s you Lili Marlene
It’s you Lili Marlene

I was distracted by Goldie Hawn’s MILF Rack a little during last nights Oscars Ceremony. Many people have made snide comments about her chest in the past, but I’m fine with it:

Remember, stylists, "lift and separate"

The Las Vegas Style Examiner had some catty comments to make about Hawn. Apparently someone does not like her dress. To highlight this, they added some made-up words to the usual baby-talk that passes as journalism in these circles. In this case a lady called Susan Stapleton wrote:

A couple things could have fixed Goldie Hawn’s look: some type of shapewear underneath, a bit larger dress on top so that her breasts weren’t smashed. But learn something from this look. Your chest never should look this smooshed on the red carpet.

Seriously, that’s barely recognizable as English.

[by the way, I have just browsed every photo available online of Style Editor Susan Stapleton. She is kind of hot, actually, but the way she dresses hardly gives her a mandate to criticize others in her 6th grade English. And, from what I can tell, her tits are nothing to write home about, either.]

Watching Eve Marie Saint participating in the Oscars (she’s 85 years old) reminds me of one of my top ten favorite pop songs of all times, which mentions her. It’s the incomparable Lloyd Cole and the Commotions and their seminal tune, Rattlesnakes:

Jodie wears a hat although it hasnt rained for six days
She says a girl needs a gun these days
Hey on account of all the rattlesnakes
She looks like eve marie saint in on the waterfront
She reads simone de beauvoir in her american circumstance
Shes less than sure if her heart has come to stay in san jose
And her neverborn child still haunts her
As she speeds down the freeway
As she tries her luck with the traffic police
Out of boredom more than spite
She never finds no trouble, she tries too hard
Shes obvious despite herself
She looks like eve marie saint in on the waterfront
She says all she needs is therapy yeah
All you need is, love is all you need
Jodie never sleeps cause there are always needles in the hay
She says that a girl needs a gun these days
Hey on account of all the rattlesnakes
She looks like eve marie saint in on the waterfront
As she reads simone de beauvoir in her american circumstance
Her heart, hearts like crazy paving
Upside down and back to front
She says ooh, its so hard to love
When love was your great disappointment

Rest assured, faithful,  I will be going to town on the Oscars tomorrow morning. Topics will include the utter assholishness of Seacrest, and Hawn’s milf-rack.

This is Valeria Mazza, in her absolute prime.

Congratulations

This is a young lady who is mother to four children. There names are weird: Balthazar, Tiziano, Benicio and Taina, but with an ass like that, we’ll forgive her…….

Have a good weekend, y’all.

One of the President’s key advisers has announced his intention to leave the administration:

Just easing in to the weekend…….