rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

Bedside List girls all, each has married in 2009 and it’s only the 3rd of March. My favorites are falling to the institution of marriage like a Hun counterattack before my great grandfather’s Lewis Gun.

Where will it end? Not Lohan? God NO!*

Let’s remember the good times:

Arrivederci, my angel

Selamat Jalan, my sweet

Auf Wiedersehn, my darling

[*an unlikely contingency, I’ll admit.]

I am going to see Watchmen in Orange Park on Friday. I don’t know if it will be awesome or utterly worthless.  You see, I CANNOT get past the fact that one of the superheroes is dressed as an owl.

Hoo! hoo!

Bottom right. See what I mean?

That said, I think some of these Hollywood costume whizz-kids can do pretty much anything and make it look cool, these days (apart from Batman’s nipples in the appalling Batman and Robin. That was an error). Here’s the Watchmen trailer to help us think this through (owl alert at 1.33):

I’ll let you know how it goes – if I survive AMC Orange Park. It would not surprise me one iota if I were accidentally caught up in a police-involved shooting.

This is not a political post, more a sad comment on the state of our national politics from my vantage point on the banks of the St. Johns. I am talking of course about the latest nonsense relating to media personality Rush Limbaugh, the prescription drug-addicted, thrice-divorced, bastion of “conservative values” who  deigns to tell 20 million willing listeners what to think every day.

"He's fat! He's round! He bounces on the ground! His name is Rush! His name is Rush!

As entertaining as Rush Limbaugh is (and he is an entertainer, as indicated by A. His clown-like shape and B. his, errr,  prime time talk radio show….),  and, as much as I will go to my grave defending his right to broadcast as he does, the current situation which has led a RNC Chairman to publicly apologize to him, is nothing short of a national disgrace.  For his part in this, Michael Steele must be condemned as a lily-livered blemish on the face of the republican party. In any properly-functioning democracy his failure to stand his ground and his craven willingness to kow-tow to the media in this way would disqualify him from holding any important office ever again … but I digress. This post is about Rush.

You see, as a conservative of sorts, I am at a loss as to what people see in him. He is interesting to listen to – from a sociological or even psychological viewpoint and I am even prepared to believe he is a genuinely nice guy. But his credibility as a true conservative is pretty questionable. He is clearly a man of appetites. I bet nobody could call his diet “conservative”.

He is also a famous drug addict. And he reportedly engaged in criminal behavior to secure those drugs (interestingly, in one of his court cases, his sworn enemy* the ACLU filed an amicus brief supporting him. Good material….). He is a constant smoker of cigars having been lauded as an aficionado in the press. His addiction to women is equally well-chronicled. He has been married three times and is currently dating a lovely lady half his age called Kathryn Rogers. I wonder what first attracted her to the millionaire Rush Limbaugh? Here she is:

With her boyfriend...

She says making love to Rush is like having an armoire fall on her with the key sticking out.

I made that last bit up.

Anyway, consider this a college assignment: Rush Limbaugh: A Man of Appetites (Discuss).

This weekend rivercityvibe achieved its largest number of visitors for a two day period since the Kiran Chetry thong imbroglio, attributable to nothing.

Twitter sure as shit is doing nothing for us.

In celebration, here’s that one guy and the other guy, singing (the dancing is notable):

Ain’t no stoppin’ us now
We’re on the move (yeah-ee-a, yeah-ee-a)
Ain’t no stoppin’ us now
We’ve got the groove
Spice Girls, check it out

There’ve been so many things that have held us down
But now it looks like things are finally comin’ around, yeah
I know we’ve got a long long way to go, yeah
And where we’ll end up
I don’t know
But we won’t let nothing hold us back
We gonna get ourselves together
We gonna polish up our act, yeah
And if you’ve ever been held down before
I know that you refuse to be held down any more, yeah yeah
Don’t you let nothing, nothing
Nothing stand in your way
And all we gonna do
I want you to listen, listen (That’s right)
To every word I say
Every word I say about it

Ain’t no stoppin’ us now (That’s right)
We’re on the move
(Nothing gonna, nothing gonna)
(Stop us now, stop us now)
Ain’t no stoppin’ us now, Come on
We’ve got the groove (Whoo-oo-oo yeah yeah)
Ain’t no stoppin’ us now (No no no)
We’re on the move
(On the move, yeah-ee-a, yeah-ee-a)
Ain’t no stoppin’ us now
We’ve got the groove (Yeah)

Now, let’s see it
Don’t wanna stop
Please don’t make me stop (I don’t wanna)
Don’t wanna stop
Please don’t make me stop (No-oh No-oh)
Don’t wanna stop
Please don’t make me stop (I don’t want to)
Don’t wanna stop
Please don’t make me stop
(Uh, y’all spell it out for me)

Ain’t no stoppin’ us now
We’re on the move
Don’t wanna stop, please don’t make me stop (Yeah yeah)
Ain’t no stoppin’ us now (Yeah)
We’ve got the groove
Don’t wanna stop, please don’t make me stop
(Whoo-oo, Come around with me)

Ain’t no stoppin’ us now
We’re on the move

Those foolish blankets with sleeves all over the TV are selling like hotcakes. I was in Target on Roosevelt Boulevard just now and they are being sold as if they were frankincense, myrrh and a cure for cancer all rolled into one.

Apparently the marketing geniuses that have worked out a way to sell warm blankets to Floridians (they sell well in Hawaii and New Mexico too. Go figure), are involved in a patenting battle that is getting uglier and uglier. Before we discuss this in detail, let’s watch a VERY funny parody. I can’t work out if it is SFW, so use your judgment and don’t watch it if your boss is a sort of Pol Pot (without the Khmer sense of humor…..):

The controversy is centered on a battle between the ubiquitous Snuggie, and a predecessor called the Slanket. There is also a stalking horse with the even more stupid name of the Freedom Blanket (I have no information as to whether Grand Moff Cheyney was involved in the naming. Though early indications are that Donald Rumsfeld was). All three are vying for something or other. The NYT has the story, but our buddies at Gawker have some things to say about it that a more to the point:

For those people, Slanket inventor Gay Clegg has a message: The Snuggie is shit.

A snowboarder who has competed professionally, Mr. Clegg, 29, grows a scruffy beard between QVC appearances and has a laid-back, surfer-dude attitude, reflected in the Slanket’s motto: “Spread the Warmth.” But the Snuggie leaves him cold; he calls it a “cheap knockoff” that “undermines the integrity” of his Slanket.

I have to say, the Slanket does seem to be going for a cooler, less disabled, vibe, but that does not answer my question. Who buys these things? I have a 17 year old olive green Helly Hansen field jacket which I (once every three years or so), will don (good word) to watch TV. It can also be used for a trip to the store, or while sailing, fishing or hunting. There is no need for anything more………… Let’s face it, you’d look a bit of a tit rocking up at Starbucks in your Slanket.

Now if I could actually get a Thneed, that would be different……

This is Danneel Harris. Two interesting points to make here: 1. She will be 30 years old on the 18th of March. 2. Her parents were illiterate or drunk when they filled out her birth certificate.

It is spelled D-A-N-I-E-L-L-E, fuck-knuckles.

Thirty? Congratulations are in order.......

I should point out that this pic is from a 2008 Maxim shoot. I’ve always liked Maxim. I get it when I can’t find the New Criterion or 2000 AD.