rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

On his bottom. Sorry girls.

Vinny Chase (aka Adrian Grenier*) is a popular sex symbol in the fictional world of Entourage. I checked with my regular thing by showing her these pictures and she confirmed that, in real life, he fails to meet the required standard.

Also, I note his name is Adrian.

What a giveaway……..

One of the most popular posts EVER on rivercityvibe was a two minute effort for me – a simple cut and paste from youtube of that one guy from SNL’s brilliant “I’m on a Boat”. Forget the fact that I spend hours coming up with hilarious comedy of my own, the drink and drug-fueled drafting, editing, redrafting. Evidently the rivercityvibe faithful prefer their pleasures out of a can.

It’s a metaphor for our times.

Anyway, we have featured a capella before, too. Here we combine a capella with “I’m on a Boat”. Watch the girl who takes T-Paine’s part (her name is Anya). She’s on the right of the screen, ill-advisedly wearing red jeans. We’ll discuss her in a minute.

So the girls name is Anya. I was going to say something dryly amusing about her posterior. But then I realized I was entirely cool with it. Partly because it’s just not that bad, and partly because….you’ve guessed it haven’t you? At least in this, she looks like rivercityvibe favorite Lindsay Lohan. And that is the biggest compliment I can give basically. Seriously, Anya. Never change.

I’ve just checked the acquire website (scroll down eight people). Tell me she’s not a real Ginger. We all know what that means.

It means beware.

Continuing our occasional series of hot babes with their tongues sticking out. Here is the recently single Jessica Simpson. We’ve discussed her in detail before. No need to go over all that again.

This is becoming a controlling obsession……

I really don’t think this needs much of an intro. I’ll just say that one of these two is AnnaLynne McCord.

Bones out…..

Those old guys who man the drawbridge into Ortega have spotted something in the water. They’ve closed off Grand Avenue Bridge and the Bomb Squad are at the scene.

It’s either a Naval Mine or the Loch Ness Monster. My money is on the latter……….

or

Definitely.

The Austrian’s are up in arms about Sacha Baron-Cohen’s new movie, Bruno. Not literally. That’s proven a losing strategy on at least two occasions. It appears they are insulted by the concept of a gay fashionista being their most famous person since… ahem… Joseph Fritzl.

And before him, Adolf Hitler.

Long time members of the rivercityvibe faithful will know that this website gently teases the Deutsch about the sins of their past. To that end, we applaud Bruno’s effort to do the same. But, boxhead-bashing apart, I think there is a very good chance that Bruno (subtitled “Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt”), is going to be very funny indeed.

Check out these promotional stills from Bruno’s European publicity tour:

In each City he visited, he dressed the part. In London, he wore the uniform of the Guards outside Buckingham Palace.

In Madrid, where archaic laws mean you can torture animals in public for sport, Bruno dressed as an anatomically correct bull. He was chased by matadors, but not speared or run through with a rapier.

And, of course, in Amsterdam, he dressed as a sex worker. Naturlich, ja?

I am going to see it on Friday, in the meantime, we must make do with the trailer:

Klasse!

This is a classic. All you have to do is hang with the likes of Sarkozy – a serial adulterer (it’s okay in France) who recently married a popular singer (and ex-model) –  for a while. Eventually some of that Gallic sexual permissiveness will rub off. Here is our President, dropping his guard:

I don’t know about you, but that sort of thing warms the cockles of my heart.

Reminds me of the good ol’ days under Clinton………

It’s that time again. This is for last weekend, by the way. You may have noticed, I am a bit behind currently. I’ve been busy with VERY important business. On a barely related matter, I note that President Obama and Russian President Medvedev have finally reached an agreement on nuclear arms limitation.

So, in celebration of the slightly smaller chance that the world implodes according to the principles of Mutually Assured Destruction, here is a super hot bikini babe who happens to be Russian:

Well done, tovarich. Well done indeed. For the record, this is Irina Sheik (born Irina Shaykhlislamova on January 6, 1986 [Bones Note: Sagittarius] in Yemanzhelinsk, Russia). Her family are of Cossack extraction.

Awesome all round, basically.

It will hardly shock you to hear that I dreamed about Lindsay, last night. You might be more surprised when you hear it wasn’t the usual one (the one when she’s naked and I’m on top of the armoire in my Batman suit). No, it was a new and altogether less fun version, which involved my regular thing and Los Angeles public transport (I know, there isn’t any in real life. My dreams tend to distort reality. For instance, this one time, I knew Kung Fu and could speak Chinese. That was actually a very cool dream. I think it was brought on by early oral administration of my customary double Ambien and Glenfiddich).

Anyway, it reminded me that we were due to check in with rivercityvibe favorite, accomplished actress Lindsay Lohan. Here she is at her recent birthday party:

A publicist working for a Brit comedian of sorts who goes by the name of Russell Brand has put out some rumors that Brand spurned Lindsay’s amorous advances recently (interestingly enough Russell Brand is also the name of a high school friend of mine who was, sadly, afflicted with both eczema and asthma. We called him Flaky Face). The rumors, however, seem unlikely. This is Brand. He look like he could do with a wash. And a haircut:

Not for nothing does he self-describe as a sort of “S&M Willy Wonka.” He looks like he would have made love to Lindsay in much the same way as Gene Wilder might have, if we’d spiked him with a quaalude.

It was raining when I left Bones’ Hideout this morning, so I decided to forgo my customary experimental jetpack (I forwent it) and travel instead via the internet. It takes about as long to reach Bones HQ, but it’s drier.

However I travel, I do so to music. This morning I listened to Portishead.

They completely rock.

Check it out.

I know. I am fuelling trip-hop obsessions all over Florida. That’s how I roll.