rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

It was me, I think, who came up with the awesome bon mot “men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses”. At the time, I was referring to men like you and me – rivercityvibe men. Most others, I reasoned, have to make do with whatever they can get. Well, I’ve changed my mind.

As I have grown older (or as my publicist might put it, “matured”), I have experienced much that is new and now fervently believe that rivercityvibe men are PRECISELY the type to make passes at girls who wear glasses.

You see it takes a certain vibe-style self-confidence to overlook myopia, short-sightedness, long-sightedness, near-blindness etc. and glimpse the beauty within. Added to which, it takes a certain type of girl in this day and age, to opt out of the global Lasic, contact lenses socio-industrial conspiracy. A type we like. A confident type. Probably a type that smokes. A type that is racy. A type that “goes” a bit….

Anyway, that’s the reasoning behind my change of heart. That and this picture of The Fox:

She looks like a young, hot, tattooed Nana Mouskouri……

Oh dear.

The largest circulation English language daily newspaper in the entire world. The Sun (UK) is running a story about a Jacksonville mother who let her baby play with her bong, then posted a picture online.

It looks like we’re getting the international profile the Chamber wants!

More international coverage HERE.

Way to go Jax!

Numbnuts.

The best place to watch the World Cup in Jacksonville is Lillians on Roosevelt. It shows English Premier League games all season so already has a hardcore of soccer fans, most of who appear to be angry little Scotsmen, ripe for taunting. I’ll see you there for the game against Ghana, Saturday 2 pm.

In the meantime, check out this slice of design awesome from the Dutch Football Federation:

Why do they do that, the soccer players? With their shirts, I mean?

Strange.

Kim Kardashian is the gift that keeps on giving, first-time visitor-wise. Whenever she is featured, hits on this site go through the roof. That’s not to say we are using her. Oh no. We value her for far more than her ability to satisfy our cravings for page views. Mainly, of course,  her smoking plus sized rack and ass.

…..and because i love y’all so much:

My mother recently described this blog as “puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense”

Can you believe that?

I think we’ve nailed it!

We are verging a little into hipster territory here (which I hate), but I thought it would be nice to plug Urban Jacksonville Weekly LIVE! which begins at the 5 Points Theatre (note spelling) in a mere hour or so. For the 88% of rivercityvibe readers who do not live in the River City (13th biggest city in the US. you heard it here first…..) Urban Jacksonville Weekly is a BRILLIANT podcast full of funny chat and interesting info (they once plugged us). It’s hosted by three hip young gunslingers who I will call The Beard, The Suit and The Oddpants. These sobriquets are expressions of love my dears….

Anyway, the original plan for the LIVE! Podcast involved showcasing the extended trailer from the new film by graffiti-sensation Banksy, the public-minded vandal who has made millions from his ‘street art’. Here’s a version of the trailer for Exit through the Gift Shop:

I respect Banksy, but I can take him or leave him. My interest in this movie is primarily in its soundtrack. The song at the beginning of the trailer is Tonight the Streets are Ours by the double-plus legend Richard Hawley.

He was only in Pulp. That’s all.

No big whoop.

Ouch. My eyes are watering. And it’s not for the usual reason….

It turns out that Tiger Wood’s “Go Big or Go Home” approach to marital infidelity is going to cost him 750, 000, 000 dollars.

His hot wife (who has evidential forgotten that she is Swedish, and therefore was expected to indulge, possibly even encourage, Tiger’s proclivities) stands to walk away with this huge sum, plus the kids. The upside is that Tiger will be left with approximately 40 million dollars to spend on hookers and pornstars.

That’s plenty. Seriously.

I’ve looked into it.

RADAR Online – that impeccable source – has the story and says,

“When they first started negotiating the divorce, it was very acrimonious,” the source told RadarOnline.com. “Elin had a lawyer in California who was very, very aggressive.”

But we learned that Elin switched attorneys months ago and that took much of the anger out of the negotiations.

“Things are now very civil between Tiger and Elin – at least in terms of getting the divorce taken care of,” the source told RadarOnline.com.

Importantly, Radar Online also has “Exclusive Sexy Photos : All of Tiger’s Women!”.

So that’s alright then

Those of us who have siblings know how awesome it is to taunt them. There’s basically nothing better, more satisfying or more fun. The trick is to keep it bubbling along at such a level that they never quite blow up until you are ready for it. This guy is funny and an accomplished sister-bully.

I could always make my mom laugh when she was trying to be mad at me, too. It’s easy if you have the knack.

And if you are her favorite child.

By miles.

Some marketing genius has figured out a way to sell modern gangsta pop to a group that usually sticks close to Death Metal. I refer to the Trekkoids – The Sci-Fi geek community whose numbers are legion and whose insidious influence pervades every aspect of modern life.

What? You seriously think the iPad would have been invented if Firefly hadn’t been canceled? Think about it.

So this is for the Trekkoids, but I think there is something in it for us all to enjoy. It’s Kesha’s Tik Tok with Kirk, Spock and Bones. Take it away, Scottie…….

Kesha (or a variant of it) used to be vulgar slang for ass. Now it’s a girls name.

What is the world coming to?

I mentioned to somebody only the other day that my ‘type’ is “conventionally beautiful”. We have discussed this on these pages before. In celebration of my extraordinary good taste, here is The Fox in her undies (twice):

I hope that has helped rid the taste of the last post from your mouth.

Yeuch. Seriously.

Oh my God. This horror combines all my dislikes. She looks like one of the hobbit women at the beginning of Lord of the Rings (Bilbo’s party – remember?). Perhaps one that has been crossbred with a horrid goblin.

Even her name brings to mind Middle Earth. It occurs to me that this thing could depilate her entire body meticulously and still look hairy……

Am I being mean?

(Post Script: One G. Lucas of California has sent me a dozen emails begging me to correct the spelling of Wookiee which I have now done).