rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

I have a soft spot for that other warm, sunny state – by which I mean California. Also I like its comedy Governor, the vocally challenged Austrian ex-pornstar Arnold Schwarzenegger (I know, Austrian is actually worse than German, what with Fritzl-types around every corner, but I am laying off the boxhead bashing for a while… it got too easy).

This week Arnie showed a side of him that I had hitherto suspected existed. He is a humorous individual considering his… well you know. On vetoing a bill sent to him by the legislature, he sent the following letter to policymakers in Sacramento:

So far so good, right? Standard political/governance fare, one would imagine and it’s not as if he doesn’t have a point. Cryptologists working at Bones HQ have, however, identified the following message, hidden within the Governor’s letter:

Good material, nein? Klasse und schoen! As the Governator might say…..

It turns out that a super-hot model teacher has appeared in Playboy, and been fired for it. Math, teacher? No. English teacher? No. History Teacher? No? Physics teacher? No. I could go on all day, but I’ll just tell you. This teacher taught cheerleading.

Well, they didn’t make them like that when I was at High School (though I never went in for cheerleading. Bridge Club and Junior Christian Fellowship were more my bag*). The teacher is Carlie Christine formerly of Casa Robles High School in Orangevale, California. CBS 13 reports:

“And I was in shock that I knew the girls had seen it and knew about it,” a parent told CBS13. A lot of parents and faculty are talking and looking.

“The whole football team has seen it,” says one parent.

No shit, Sherlock. What amazes me, in this day and age, is that appearing nude in Playboy is considered a bad thing. More of that weird puritan double-standard we have here. Here’s another picture, for luck:

*Obviously, I’m kidding. I didn’t belong to any clubs at school. The Awesome Club and the Fucking Legend Club? They belonged TO ME!

We like Lindsay, around here. We like that she is hot. And we like that she is naughty. Not so keen on her being a lesbian, but hey! We can see the upside to that, too!

Not sure what is going on lips-wise. But I'm fine with it.

The furor all over the weekend about a warrant for her arrest, turned out to be the flawless bureaucracy of California in action, once more. Jeez, those people are unbelievable. My buddies at TMZ tell us:

The warrant issued for Lindsay Lohan‘s arrest was just recalled.

Lohan’s lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, made quick work of it in a hearing that lasted minutes. S.C.H. showed proof of compliance and that was that. Lindsay didn’t show.

Lohan will enroll in a new alcohol education program — apparently she had “personality conflicts” with her old one — and will be back in court to prove it on April 3.

So much for those bogus stories that the hearing was about a driver’s license…

So there you have it. What is technically known as a storm-in-a teacup.

Yawn.

You’ll be aware of the battle in California between the “gay community” and “the man”. It’s something to do with same-sex marriage and is, by turns depressing and hilarious. I saw this very funny placard on TV just a moment ago, and found it on flickr. It will make you laugh, too, I expect……

That's good material

Check out the sign bottom left – Chickens 1 Gays 0, referring to Prop 2 to do with animal cruelty (which passed) versus Prop 8 concerning same-sex marriage (which didn’t pass). Funny.

I have posts stacked up here like 737s over Hartsfield Airport, right now, including some advice on how to shop for infants and a much anticipated Something for the Weekend. Stay with us, and we’ll be right back after the break……

I have been remiss the last few days. I promised to post while I was in California. I did not do so. You deserve to know why.

Certain elements conspired to make it highly unlikely that I would keep it together enough to tend to rivercityvibe. Those elements were, variously, a Sacramento brew pub, a hardcore jazz bar, a three hour  time difference, a profound lack of sleep and my habitual enthusiasm for utterly kicking the ass out of any new opportunity to misbehave.

Basically, my message is, though this place has delicious beer, avoid it:

DANGER!

Normal service shall now resume. Thank you for your patience.

I am about to leave (on a jet plane) for California, where I am needed to sort things out for the Governator. Consequently, I am pushed for time. In situations like these, I rob from Seth. This is known.

Here are some amusing emails:

Very amusing

I’ll report from 90210. In the meantime, be good.