rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

Before I recount the tale of the awesome time I had at Pete’s at Neptune Beach, this Thanksgiving, I must first tell you about the BIZARRE and unsettling experience I had last year.

It quite freaked me out at the time.

As is the Bone’s Tradition, I give the staff the day off and eat Thanksgiving Lunch out. For years we used to go to the Ritz Carlton, Amelia Island (via Pete’s, naturally), but I was increasingly unimpressed, so last year, for the first time, we switched to Casa Monica, in St. Augustine.

In many ways, it was perfect. Fine food, fine wines and a great atmosphere of effortless luxury. Well worth the 30 minute drive alongside drunks on A1A.

Weirdos as guests.

My family and I drank stimulating drinks in their beautiful bar, before being escorted to our table in the sweet spot of the restaurant. It was about 2 pm. As we passed by our fellow diners, an older member of my party stopped to admire a tiny baby in a bassinet, next to a table. We seated ourselves and I began to scan the wine list.

My older relative seemed perturbed. I looked at him, he leaned forward and said, sotto voce, “Is that baby okay. It looks blue.” I looked over, the presumed mother (who was older than one would have expected) seemed unconcerned, she was tucking the child in, and speaking softly to it. Unsure how to express our concerns, I called over the maitre’d and tactfully inquired as to whether, in his opinion, everything was alright. He rolled his eyes, and explained, under his breath, that these concerns had been expressed by various diners for the past couple of hours, he had investigated and (stand by for this) had ascertained that the baby was in fact a lifelike doll, manufactured to look like a premature newborn.

I raised an eyebrow, “Pardonez moi?”

He repeated what he had said. He added that he had recently escorted a tearful nine year old girl and her parents from the premises after the girl freaked out because the “child” was “not breathing”. He noted that the “mother” refused to acknowledge that the doll was anything but real…..

I looked at our fellow diners. Some of them wore strained expressions – presumably those in the know….. After the initial disbelief wore off, some of my party began to laugh, uncontrollably and loud. I on the other hand, conscious of my duty to my public, got up and headed for the bassinet to mock and take pictures.

That ain't right.......

I questioned the “mother” and she seemed relatively normal, as long as you did not venture too near the”child” or discuss the fact that “it” was a doll – then she became unhinged. I should also note (and I will forever blame myself for not getting a picture) that her male dining companion was odd, too. He had a bowl haircut and a large mustache that made him appear, well, Belgian, if you know what I mean? My regular thing noted that, though surrounded by delicious food of all kinds, he seemed to be limiting his intake to plate after plate of collared greens……..

I have since researched this “fake baby” phenomenon (they are known as “reborns”). There is an excellent explanatory story on MSNBC, which tells all. Read it HERE.

Lunch was outstanding, by the way. I had obligations, this year, but it will be Casa Monica everytime, from now on………