rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

I saw an immaculately dressed lady walking down the road at Atlantic Beach this morning. I noticed  she was carrying an awesome purse in the messenger bag-style. I have trained myself to notice these kinds of details, believing this to be one of the best lifestyle optimization skills going. Noticing details about people allows you to converse knowledgeably with them on subjects that interest them and make them happy. In the case of clothes and accessories it further allows you to keep mental notes of options for future gifts that might help you manage those sticky-situations with our womenfolk that we all (let’s face it) find ourselves in from time to time. I am also good at haircuts and boob jobs. Noticing them I mean…..

I inquired politely about the purse. The lady’s face lit up and I basked in her happiness. I felt great. She enthusiastically explained that it was the Gucci Sand Python. Unfortunately, it has to be pre-ordered, so it’s of limited use for getting you out of the shit in quick-time. You could always order one in advance, I suppose (a just-in-case option that I would not discount if you’re feeling especially mischievous). Good to know, anyway.

You can order it HERE.

For so many of us, life in Jacksonville is intimately connected to the water. Whether its on the St. Johns, the Intercoastal or the ocean, we pretty much all love (if I may steal from The Wind in the Willows), “simply messing about in boats”.

It follows, then, that we need somewhere to buy our boat shit. Our bosuns’ bumholes. Our marlin spikes. Our monkeys’ fists. Also our nautical themed beer koozies and signal flag place-mats.

And our wall clocks in the shape of an olde worlde pirate ship’s wheel.

It's a biggie........

With the arrival at the St. John’s Town Center of the largest West Marine in the world, all those things are now a short drive away.

Seriously, though, I went to the preview opening on Friday and they have everything. The latest in electronics, fishing gear, safety gear – the usual West Marine gear but more of it and better. I nearly (so close) bought an inflatable paddle board for 1200 bucks. That’s how awesome the place’s vibe was…….

Luckily I came to my senses and remembered what I really wanted was a Magnum PI-style surf-ski, preferably of eighties vintage. I made an inquiry and immediately felt bad. They didn’t have one and were MORTIFIED on day one to tell me this…..

I made up for it by buying the most expensive personal flotation device for a Labrador that they had. My dog swims like she’s the offspring of Michael Phelps and Flipper, so it’s never going to be used. I think the staff appreciated the gesture, though.

The best part is that we now have somewhere to go when our womenfolk are in Gucci……