rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

My third favorite movie (and favorite John Hughes* movie) Weird Science is playing at the 5 Points Theater at midnight tonight. I am attending in my yellowest shoes. It’s going to be mighty. I presume you all, being people of exquisite taste, patronize the 5 points Theatre (note spelling) all the time. They have beer.

Which reminds me, I have recently begun a long post which, O reader, I may or may not inflict upon you shortly. It’s subject is Quality of Life. The fact that I can go to a midnight showing of a movie like Weird Science, on my bicycle, is what we call a ‘key indicator’ when it comes to measuring Life Quality.

If only it wasn’t so bastarding cold.

What’s up with that? Seriously.

(*did you see the piece about him in Vanity Fair? Illuminating).

Cameron’s house, from John Hughes’ seminal Ferris Buellers Day Off is  on the market. You know the place. Where Ferris and Cameron accidentally destroy Cameron’s father’s 1961 Ferrari 250GT California (“less [sic] than a hundred were made”).

The picture quality sucks. I guess they are trying to evoke an 80s ambiance for a quick sale. The Realtor tells us:

THE BEN ROSE HOME-site of the famous movie “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”, cantilevered over the ravine, these two steel and glass buildings, which can never be duplicated, have incredible vistas of the surrounding woods. This is a unique property designed by A. James Speyer and David Haid, both notable architects of the 20th Century. Estate Sale Sold -No disclosures! This is an amazing architectural treasure.

Let us refresh our memories:

Remember those days? Remember Abe Froman, the Sausage King of Chicago?

There. It’s all coming back

Yesterday was so great. After returning from my day-trip to the Big Peach (lame), I sank into my favorite armchair with a large Glenfiddich and received an encrypted report from my agent at the Playboy castings. This satisfactorily completed, I switched on the TV. Someone had been monkeying with it, because it was not on the Military Channel. It was on a channel called Encore Love (suspect…..) and, as fortune would have it, one of the best films ever made was beginning.

I am talking about Weird Science.

Q: Why are we wearing bras on our heads? A: Ritual.

Those who are old enough will recall the movie being one of John Hughes’ 80’s masterpieces (can we say National Lampoon’s Vacation, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Planes, Trains & Automobiles ?). It’s about two dweebs who make and use a hot babe with an early home computer, a telephone modem and an old copy of National Geographic.

The babe in question is English temptress Kelly LeBrock ( I have just looked her up on the usual source and found out she is not English at all and I have been living a lie for twenty years). She later, amusingly, married Steven Seagal (Hollywood style – it didn’t last) and then became a celebrity fat person, like Kirsty Alley.

That the movie is so awesome owes little to LeBrock, but a lot to the young actors (where [and who] are they now?). The drunk scene in the jazz club  and the ritual which accompanies the ‘manufacture’ of the perfect woman is priceless comedy, as is the dispatch of the mutant warriors who crash the boys’ party.

Bizarrely, Encore Love only awarded it a single star in its review. Not credible. Who are these idiots?

We have many readers who were not born when this movie came out, so here’s one of my favorite scenes  to give you the general idea:

For those who have seen it, you’ll appreciate my consternation at the fact that my brothers have never stopped calling me Chet……..