rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

Kim Kardashian is the gift that keeps on giving, first-time visitor-wise. Whenever she is featured, hits on this site go through the roof. That’s not to say we are using her. Oh no. We value her for far more than her ability to satisfy our cravings for page views. Mainly, of course,  her smoking plus sized rack and ass.

…..and because i love y’all so much:

My mother recently described this blog as “puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense”

Can you believe that?

I think we’ve nailed it!

I have commented often on the importance of blondes in my life. There are many, many super-hot brunettes, and even the odd redhead meets the selector’s standards (Lohan), but as a matter of personal preference, Joe Bones, prefers a blonde when he can get one.

Now, it has been noted that this policy is at odds with my unwillingness to forgive that famously blonde nation, Germany, for it’s actions in WWII ( The Japanese were no saints, either, BTW, as the people of Hawaii and my grandfather will attest). I can only say that it is really not the Aryan perfection of, say, Heidi Klum, that I am talking about. I don’t mind bottle-blondes, to be honest.

Some people understand this. Kardashian has come round, for example. But, regrettably, her efforts to become blonde earn her a rivercityvibe fail:

Not anywhere near enough

You have to take your hat off to her, though. She is doing her very best. She should be applauded for it, but like a child, she must also be told where she has gone wrong.

It’s like a public service for celebs, rivercityvibe………

As we approach North Florida’s seven month long summer, I want to offer a word of warning about the perils of sunbathing. Falling asleep on the beach after a liquid lunch at Pete’s can have dire effects. Kardashian Sr. found out the hard way and decided (impressively) to post the evidence on her Twitter account:

Her rack escaped relatively unscathed. Phew.

Speaking of Twitter, I twat regularly. To follow Joe Bones click HERE

Eminem’s new album and his song We Made You is getting a lot of attention. It mocks mercilessly a number of celebrities including Simpson, Kardashian, and our favorite Lohan. He is right on the money with what he says about Lindsay and Ronson, drawing attention to the fact that they were something of an odd couple – Lindsay being seriously good-looking and Ronson having a face like a robber’s dog. In fact, Eminem seems to echo much that has appeared on rivercityvibe of late. Could Eminem be channeling Joe Bones? The Video is HERE.

We Made You

Guess Who… You Miss me?… Jessica Simpson sing the chorus

(CHORUS)
When you walked through the door
It was clear to me (clear to me)
You’re the one they adore, who they came to see (who they came to see)
You’re a … rock star (baby)
Everybody wants you (everybody wants you)
Player… Who can really blame you (who can really blame you)
We’re the ones who (chicka) made you *cough, cough*

Back by popular demand
Now pop a little zantack or ant’-acid if you can
You’re ready to tackle any task that is at hand
How does it feel, is it fantastic, is it grand?
Well look at all the massive masses in the stands
Shady man… no don’t massacre the fans
Damn, I think Kim Kardashians a man
She stomped him just cause he asked to put his hands
On her massive glutious maximus again
Squeeze it, then Squish it, then pass it to her friend
Can he come back as nasty as he can
Yes he can,can, don’t ask me this again
He does not mean to lesbian offend
But Lindsay please come back to seeing men
Samantha’s a 2, You’re practically a 10
I know you want me girl,
In fact I see your grin – now come in girl

(CHORUS)
When you walked through the door
It was clear to me (clear to me)
You’re the one they adore, who they came to see (who they came to see)
You’re a … rock star (baby)
Everybody wants you (everybody wants you)
Player… Who can really blame you (who can really blame you)
Were the ones who made you

So baby, baby
Get down, down, down

Baby, get down, down down
Baby, get down, down down
Baby, get down, down down
Baby, get down, get down

Oh Amy, Rehab never looked so good,
I can wait, I’m going back!! HAHA Whooo!

DR DRE, 2020, Yeah

You get the idea…….

We had Kim Kardashian on Something for the Weekend once, so we’ll leave her out of this. Her sister Kourtenay is appearing in this months Maxim. let’s have look at her with her other sister Khloe (left):

I know. It’s a choice I have visited many times in my nightmares.

*And you can’t say neither.

We have covered Kardashian before. Our interest in her extends about as far as the one guy on the right’s does, below…..

I’d like to issue him with a Presidential pardon for all his crimes, and the Congressional Medal of Honor, for services to humor. If anyone knows him, please put me in touch.

As y’all know, I am unimpressed by those who are famous for “being famous”. I prefer those who have earned their fame, like Lohan, who is a working actress (and if you’ve seen any of her movies and can ignore the BS online, not a bad one). I am not impressed by Hilton and her friends, but on this occasion, I am going to make an exception for Kardashian. For the following reason:

Tidy.

I’ll remind you who this is – Kim Kardashian, famous for copulating with a sports star on camera. That and the picture above is all you need to know. Period. Zip. Finis. There is nothing more of interest.

Bones out.