rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

For so many of us, life in Jacksonville is intimately connected to the water. Whether its on the St. Johns, the Intercoastal or the ocean, we pretty much all love (if I may steal from The Wind in the Willows), “simply messing about in boats”.

It follows, then, that we need somewhere to buy our boat shit. Our bosuns’ bumholes. Our marlin spikes. Our monkeys’ fists. Also our nautical themed beer koozies and signal flag place-mats.

And our wall clocks in the shape of an olde worlde pirate ship’s wheel.

It's a biggie........

With the arrival at the St. John’s Town Center of the largest West Marine in the world, all those things are now a short drive away.

Seriously, though, I went to the preview opening on Friday and they have everything. The latest in electronics, fishing gear, safety gear – the usual West Marine gear but more of it and better. I nearly (so close) bought an inflatable paddle board for 1200 bucks. That’s how awesome the place’s vibe was…….

Luckily I came to my senses and remembered what I really wanted was a Magnum PI-style surf-ski, preferably of eighties vintage. I made an inquiry and immediately felt bad. They didn’t have one and were MORTIFIED on day one to tell me this…..

I made up for it by buying the most expensive personal flotation device for a Labrador that they had. My dog swims like she’s the offspring of Michael Phelps and Flipper, so it’s never going to be used. I think the staff appreciated the gesture, though.

The best part is that we now have somewhere to go when our womenfolk are in Gucci……

It’s Amateurs’ Night tonight. The night where people who do not drink in any meaningful way all year, suddenly start talking about how they are going to “see it through ’til dawn” with some Publix Lambrusco.

I am opting out, as usual. I received a case of Highway 12 Sonoma Valley Merlot (1995) this morning, so I may drink one of those bad boys. I am having Pizza, too and will probably watch a couple of episodes of Magnum  on DVD. Perhaps starting with the Season 7 classic, The People vs. Orville Wright – in which Rick is on trial for the murder of a hitman hired to kill Icepick. You know the one……

Whatever happens, I will be in my wigwam by 10 pm. Tomorrow, though is another day and the party starts in earnest.

Tonight:

Tomorrow:

See you in 2009!

I am about to leave Bones HQ, for a boat ride on the Mighty St. John’s that will probably involve booze and hot babes. And possibly engine failure.*

* this is what is termed an ‘in-joke’. Don’t worry about it.

The Mighty St. John. The Old Man.

Once this is over, about 8 pm, I am going home to watch Anatomy of an Abrams Tank on the military channel, before a few more cold ones until very late at a secret bar y’all don’t know about.

Military Channel. Tonight.

Tomorrow, I intend to rise early, walk my amazing dog, run five miles using my Forerunner 405, watch a couple of episodes of Magnum PI (Series 7) on DVD while eating oatmeal and fruit, then spend the day at the beach, playing volleyball and listening to live music with friends.

In the evening, I am attending a cocktail party for which I must ‘dress nicely’, before taking my consort for late dinner. Sunday, I shall be drinking beer from dawn, wondering what to do in lieu of sport. I will probably read a book. I will try to stay up for Entourage at 10 pm.

Perfect weekend. What about you guys?

As promised, here’s one for the ladies. Matt McConaughey. The Tom Selleck of the 21st Century.

Which brings me on to one of my absolute favorite topics, Magnum PI.

He's seen something. In the distance.

You may or may not know that Matt McConaughey ( I find ‘Matthew’ a little too formal) has been cast as Thomas Sullivan Magnum (head of security at Robin Masters’ Hawaii estate, Private Investigator and former Navy SEAL) in the upcoming Big Screen version of what, to the mind of Joe Bones, is the best TV drama ever…..

(You see what I did there? How I tricked you? you thought this was a post for the ladies, and now we are talking about SEALS and private investigators. It’s only a matter of time before we mention bikinis and beer….)

Anyway, I wasn’t going to talk about my Magnum PI obsession for a few months. Saving it for later. But in the River City, where we are surrounded by retired and active Navy personnel with operational experience (just like Magnum, T.C., and Rick) I know there are others among you who own all eight series on DVD  who’d love a post like this.

So that’s the original version, but the movie is in production. I never thought much about McConaughey’s acting talent until I saw him in Tropic Thunder (in which, had Tom Cruise not given the comedy performance of a lifetime, he would have stolen the show). But the guys doing the casting for the Magnum PI movie know their shit. They have cast William H Macy as Jonathan Quayle Higgins and Tyrese Gibson as Theodore “TC” Calvin. Steve Zahn as Rick. It will not destroy the franchise. It will enhance it.

“Zeus. Apollo. Patrol!”