rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

Page Six is reporting that we may not have seen the end of our lovely Sarah Palin. Apparently she is being courted by talent agencies who hope to turn her into a “White Oprah”.

But hot.

Naughty, naughty!

The paper says:

SARAH Palin won’t be vice president, but she won the hearts of talent scouts and literary agents who are scrambling to sign her to multimillion-dollar contracts.

CAA, ICM, William Morris, Paradigm and other agencies “smell books, talk shows and commentary for Fox and CNN” as possibilities for the Alaska governor, West Coast PR man Hal Lifson told us.

There is one agency, however, that has no interest in her whatsoever. It’s the agency run by Ari Emmanuel, the real-life inspiration for Entourage’s Ari Gold (another classic last night, folks). Mr. Emmanuel’s brother,  Rahm has just been appointed President-Elect Obama”s Chief-of-Staff.

Boom!

Don’t go breaking my heart
You take the weight off me
Honey when you knocked on my door
I gave you my key

Nobody knows it
When I was down
I was your clown
Nobody knows it
Right from the start
I gave you my heart
I gave you my heart

So don’t go breaking my heart
I won’t go breaking your heart
Don’t go breaking my heart

And nobody told us
`Cause nobody showed us
And now it’s up to us babe
I think we can make it

So don’t misunderstand me
You put the light in my life
You put the sparks to the flame
I’ve got your heart in my sights

Now this is more like it. The best bit is at the end, so keep watching. Awesome.

Over the last six weeks, as this extraordinary presidential campaign has unfolded, the one thing that has remained straightforward, flip-flop free, and ideologically pure has been the answer to the question,

“If you could bone anyone involved in this sorry charade, who would it be?”

Boys and girls (I am told) universally plum for Sarah Palin. Sarah “Good News McGee” Palin. The fact is, she is not just “hot for a politician” she is plain “hot”. Not her fault. Just the way it is. I have been surprised that more people have not commented on it. When comment did finally come, it came from an unlikely source. It came from Tina Fey.

sssssssst! Ouch!

Fey, who is responsible for the celebrated impression of Palin on SNL, had this to say now they have met in person:

“When I first saw her, I didn’t think we looked alike at all [Bones Note: You don’t]. Then during the convention, I started to think, ‘Ok, maybe a little.’
“I’ll tell you, that lady is five times better-looking than I am. She’s 44? She’s got none of that droopy s–t. She’s keeping it tight!”

Joe Bones could have told you that weeks ago, but nobody asked him.

And that’s the tragedy

In the last 24 hrs we have achieved blogging success beyond my wildest dreams. I can pretty much put away the keyboard, stand down my agents around the globe, and rest on my laurels. You see, I have , at last, identified the special phrase that puts rivercityvibe at the top of Google’s ranking. It came to my attention as  I was examining search terms that have driven readers to the site. Can you guess what it is?

No? Go on, have a guess!

Okay, I’ll tell you. The phrase that puts rivercityvibe ahead of every other website on the entire interweb is:

kiran chetry’s thong -video

Did you guess right? Here’s an utterly inadequate screenshot:

click image for full size

Now let me be straight with you, we have never talked of Kiran Chetry in terms of her underwear, let alone posted video. Only Sarah Palin has been discussed in this regard; Kiran Chetry has been featured only in her role as the Bedside List’s resident naughty little imp.

Nevertheless, someone has entered this particular phrase into Google and come up with digital gold dust in the form of rivercityvibe!

Champagne all round!

Apparrently, a fellow called Flynt is making a spoof movie about Sarah Palin.

It’s called Nailin’ Paylin and is likely to be NSFW.

Here are some stills:

Apparently the movie is due for release prior to the election.

God Bless America

My buddies at TMZ report:

The faux Sarah is Lisa Ann, who “will be nailing the Russians who come knocking on her back-door.” In another scene — a flashback — “young Paylin’s creationist college professor will explain a ‘big bang’ theory even she can’t deny!”

Kyuk, kyuk…..

insert weapon joke HERE

I’ve saved the best information until last…….

I pledge allegiance.....

…….according to WIKIPEDIA:

The movie will also feature Jada Fire as a spoof Condoleezza Rice and Nina Hartley as Hillary Clinton.

I am WEEPING with laughter.

Sarah Palin’s visit to Jacksonville has been declared a success, with Jacksonville Landing crammed to capacity by zitty little young republicans in bow-ties and grungy unhygienic democrats chanting and hoisting placards. The Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office estimate the crowd to be around 10,000. This turnout is all the more remarkable when one compares it to ol’ Maverick’s showing when he came to Jacksonville.

Seems he’s missing a certain something when it comes to drawing the crowds. My money would be on “a rack”. Here’s how many Jacksonvillians showed up to see the hero of Truc Bach Lake recently:

Hello...o...o

Our favorite Vice Presidential Cougar Candidate totally owns his ass. Only, Joe Biden, the Red Skelton of presidential campaign politics, is stopping Mav from becoming the laughing stock of the 2008 campaign.

Pwned!!

Stand by for a MILF-tastic week, readers. Sarah Palin – Sarah “Good News McGee” Palin – is coming to town…..

Nasty!

She will be appearing at a public event at Jacksonville Landing (Hooters, maybe?) at 7 am, Tuesday. There is some kind of fundraiser later on. The newspapers are reporting that Governor Palin will be wearing a business-like trouser suit over a thong. Or maybe I dreamed that.

Here she is again, with her dad:

To Native American voters, I say "how"

I’ll be there. Disguised as a Republican.

A few minutes ago, those comedians in the House of Representatives voted down the so-called 700 billion dollar Wall Street Bailout causing the Dow to plummet 670 points (whatever that means) further weakening an already weak market. This made a lot of traditional investors sad and cross at the same time.

I thought footage of Vice Presidential candidate Sarah “Good News McGee” Palin in a swimsuit might lighten the mood a little:

Did that help?

Thought it might.

Is it possible that we have the opportunity to elect the perfect woman to within a heartbeat of leader of the free world?

"I presume this is loaded with one-in-three tracer?"

She can handle a weapon, for sure. (This is the line you were waiting for. Joe knows. Joe is happy to oblige….)