rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

If you like beer, and don’t mind jogging a little, these comedians could be for you. Describing themselves as a drinking club with a running problem, the Jacksonville Hash House Harriers meet every Wednesday evening, somewhere in Jacksonville, with the express intention of running cross country and drinking beer, simultaneously. I went out with them a month or so ago. It was quite a vibe………..

For a start, they all have noms de guerre which they refer to as “Hash Names”. You have to have “hashed” a certain number of times before you are awarded a “hash name” – before that you are know just by your “nerd name”. I was known as (and referred to throughout) as “Just Joe.” The seasoned “hashers” had names like “Preteen Spirit“, “Inflate-a-Date“, “Aunt Jemima” and (my favorite) “Brown Underpants.” Many of the names went for a puerile, pseudo sexual angle (which, I like ) “Senior Spitizen“, “Crash Test Dildo” and “Cock Jockey.” It might be childish, but it ain’t for kids……..

Their runs (called trails) follow a series of what I can only call runes marked on the sidewalk in chalk. Like this:

strange sigils, portents of doom?

Now I managed to decipher a number of these over our 3.5 mile jog/run. The one that looks like BN, means “Beer Near” and the one at the top, with two circles with dots in (that look like boobs) means “show your boobs” and applies to the female contingent.

And they do.

It appears to be compulsory

The trail is designed with plenty of false routes so that those who want to actually run can go off and identify the right way. Those who want to approach the trail in a more leisurely manner, can follow on behind. Quite smart really.

The whole deal ends with a ritual circle in which songs are sung and drinks are drunk. Crimes on trail include ‘boy scouting’ (helping others), “competitive behavior” (treating it like an excuse to get exercise, rather than an excuse to drink beer), and, I think the worst crime in the Hash Rulebook “wearing new shoes on trail”. All crimes are punished in the circle by the Master of Ritual and the Grand Master of the Hash.

There’s generally some more boob flashing a this stage, too. Though the standard (of boobs) varied, I think the general feeling was that they were all welcome.

Ritual Circle and a 'punishment'

Since I started writing this I have googled “Hash House Harriers” and been BLOWN AWAY by what a HUGE DEAL it is, worldwide. They’re even on Wikipedia. Apparently our local group is the tip of the iceberg and Hash House Harriers trace their origins back to British Colonial Malaya:

Hashing began in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, in 1938, when a casual group of British
colonial officers and expatriates began meeting on Monday evenings to
run…… to rid themselves of the excesses of the previous weekend. This
original group consisted of four members: Cecil Lee, Frederick “Horse”
Thomson, Ronald “Torch” Bennett, and Albert Stephen (A.S.) Ignacious
“G” Gispert. J…..

After meeting for some months…….  A.S. Gispert suggested the name “Hash House Harriers” in homage to the Selangor Club
Annex, where the men were billeted, so named the “Hash House” for its
notoriously monotonous food. The final word, “Harriers,” refers to the
role of those in the chase, where the “hare”
was given a head start to blaze a trail and mark his path with shreds
of paper, and then pursued by a shouting pack of “harriers.” Apart from
the excitement of chasing the hare and finding the “true” path,
harriers reaching the end of the trail would be rewarded with beer, ginger beer, and cigarettes.

God, I like it even more now. Everyone should try it once. Like cross-dressing.  Visit www.jaxh3.com.