rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

I don’t know much about lesbian gangs. I have been going to Kickbacks a lot, lately, in an effort to improve my knowledge, but all I have got out of it is The Fear and an appreciation for the numbing qualities of Sierra Nevada Harvest (awesome BTW).

Anyway, it appears that lesbian gangs run womens’ prisons. I know that sounds unbelieveably awesome, but apparently it is nothing like that one movie we passed around in grade school. Nothing like that at all.

Now that rivercityvibe favorite Lindsay Lohan is going to prison, said gangs are going crazy at the prospect of …. ahem….. meeting her. Her well known sapphic tendencies combined with a rack to die for and, let’s face it, her attractive crazy streak, combine to make her the best thing in the prison system since suicide netting.

The ever-reliable Sun, has this to say:

Lindsay’s A-list neighbors will be replaced with tough guards at the Lynwood correctional facility, as well as fearsome lesbian gangs desperate to get their hands on her.
(A source said) “Everyone will want a piece of her. It will make them famous if they hurt Lindsay Lohan. Or if you get her to cry, the whole ward will laugh and people will love it – even the guards.”
“The gay inmates wear their shirts inside out to let others know they are available. So if Lindsay doesn’t want someone to grab her ass she’d better keep her shirt on straight. Women grab each other like animals when the guards aren’t looking. It’s disgusting.”

That shirts inside out things explains a lot, by the way….. I will be following Lindsay’s stay in prison in the most prurient fashion possible. You can be assured I’ll report it all back to you…….