rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

Those foolish blankets with sleeves all over the TV are selling like hotcakes. I was in Target on Roosevelt Boulevard just now and they are being sold as if they were frankincense, myrrh and a cure for cancer all rolled into one.

Apparently the marketing geniuses that have worked out a way to sell warm blankets to Floridians (they sell well in Hawaii and New Mexico too. Go figure), are involved in a patenting battle that is getting uglier and uglier. Before we discuss this in detail, let’s watch a VERY funny parody. I can’t work out if it is SFW, so use your judgment and don’t watch it if your boss is a sort of Pol Pot (without the Khmer sense of humor…..):

The controversy is centered on a battle between the ubiquitous Snuggie, and a predecessor called the Slanket. There is also a stalking horse with the even more stupid name of the Freedom Blanket (I have no information as to whether Grand Moff Cheyney was involved in the naming. Though early indications are that Donald Rumsfeld was). All three are vying for something or other. The NYT has the story, but our buddies at Gawker have some things to say about it that a more to the point:

For those people, Slanket inventor Gay Clegg has a message: The Snuggie is shit.

A snowboarder who has competed professionally, Mr. Clegg, 29, grows a scruffy beard between QVC appearances and has a laid-back, surfer-dude attitude, reflected in the Slanket’s motto: “Spread the Warmth.” But the Snuggie leaves him cold; he calls it a “cheap knockoff” that “undermines the integrity” of his Slanket.

I have to say, the Slanket does seem to be going for a cooler, less disabled, vibe, but that does not answer my question. Who buys these things? I have a 17 year old olive green Helly Hansen field jacket which I (once every three years or so), will don (good word) to watch TV. It can also be used for a trip to the store, or while sailing, fishing or hunting. There is no need for anything more………… Let’s face it, you’d look a bit of a tit rocking up at Starbucks in your Slanket.

Now if I could actually get a Thneed, that would be different……