rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

I used to admire Graydon Carter. I admired him for founding Spy, a magazine that had a profound influence on my life at an impressionable age. I admired him for having the guts to mock everyone (though mainly Donald Trump), and I admired him for having the style to enjoy himself while he was doing it. But I confess, during his years as Editor-in-Chief at Vanity Fair, the bloom rather left the rose for me.

You see, to my mind, the mocking of celebrity all too rapidly became a fawning over it. The Vanity Fair party at the Oscars, over which Carter presides like an Ottoman prince, became the thing he was “known for”. And high-profile gossip from folks like Toby Young made him look like a bit of a prick.

With today’s publication in the Daily Beast of an interview with actor Rupert Everett, I may just have been granted the permission I need to admire Graydon again…… When interviewer Kevin Sessums (irritatingly mannered-style….) points out that Everett is listed as a contributing editor on the masthead of Vanity Fair, Everett replies:

I know. Who does one have to fuck to get OFF that masthead? He’s such a weird character, that [Vanity Fair Editor in Chief] Graydon [Carter]. He’s certainly not the buffoon he looks like. This is the most amazing thing I found out about him. I was once staying at a hotel and I was in the room directly under his. He is an amazing fuck. And you can quote me on this. The screams coming from the woman were some of the purest sounds of pleasure I’d ever heard. And there I was sitting alone in my room unfucked. Suddenly it all made sense. That messy hair of his that I always thought was buffoon hair was buffoon hair hiding a monster cock. The next day I went down to breakfast and Graydon came in and I thought to myself, well, now I understand why you are always acting so entitled and walking on air even though you’re rather fat. It’s because grazing the grass between your legs is this appendage of yours. I did rather politely tell him that morning that I thought he was a very good fuck.

Priceless material. I like it when he says “And you can quote me on this”. I am going to show it to my mom, who I hope will then forgive then-model Rupert Everett for influencing a young Joe Bones to tear fashionable holes in a brand new pair of Levi 501s she had just bought for me……