rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

Some marketing genius has figured out a way to sell modern gangsta pop to a group that usually sticks close to Death Metal. I refer to the Trekkoids – The Sci-Fi geek community whose numbers are legion and whose insidious influence pervades every aspect of modern life.

What? You seriously think the iPad would have been invented if Firefly hadn’t been canceled? Think about it.

So this is for the Trekkoids, but I think there is something in it for us all to enjoy. It’s Kesha’s Tik Tok with Kirk, Spock and Bones. Take it away, Scottie…….

Kesha (or a variant of it) used to be vulgar slang for ass. Now it’s a girls name.

What is the world coming to?

I went to see Star Trek at Orange Park on Sunday. I had taken the precaution of slowly medicating myself with fine liquors and other boozes during the course of the day. I suspected the movie would be watch-able, but I didn’t want to take any chances.

My regular thing drove and we (as always) arrived early. I was still thirsty, so we went in to something called a “TGI Friday” – the kind of hellhole that I would normally view with considerable disdain, but as I said, I was not entirely sober. We were served cheap beers by a really, really tall bartender called Maria, with a pierced lip and pig tails. She was very nice and I suggested she do some modeling. We even compared leg lengths (at 6’2″ I was an inch taller than her, but she has 3 inch longer legs than me. Go figure? My regular thing is now calling me “Stumpy”).

Anyway, the movie theater was packed. The movie itself was actually excellent. It turned out that my regular thing had smuggled in booze, too. Great. That is, basically, why she is my regular thing. Stuff like that. And her awesome rack. So here is a clip showing the first time Kirk meets “Bones” McCoy. Cast aside your prejudices and go and see it. Please don’t wear any kind of costume, though. Seriously:

Star Trek (2009): Kirk Meets McCoy

(*needless to say, my phaser was decidedly not on stun and I had a couple of photon torpedoes on back-up. It is dangerous there)

I ran the bootleg of the teaser trailer for the upcoming Star Trek movie some months ago because it looked awesome. I got a number of worrying emails from Trekkoids commending me, basically, for spreading their gospel far and wide. Trekkoids like this guy:

Loving the Weber Grill........

Well the new trailer is out and it confirms my impression that this latest in a long line or prequels or story resets is going to be something special. The trailer follows, but if get anymore gobbledygook emails about Klingons, photon torpedoes or the Prime Directive, then that’s it. I’ll assimilate the fucking lot of you:

I went to see the Quantum of Solace at AMC Orange Park on Friday. My buddy and I made it in and out of the theater unscathed through a carefully practiced scheme of pairs fire-and-maneuver. It turned out we did not need the cover of smoke, on this occasion. The movie was awesome (it grossed $70 m over the weekend), but there was an added bonus – the new Star Trek trailer.

I have not, previously, had any truck with the Trekkie community. My preferred attitude toward them is “disdain” mixed with “amazement”. I have to say though, the new movie (another re-set/prequel I’m afraid) actually looks great, in conception and execution.

Some public spirited-geek-with-a-camera, has posted this bootleg version, online:

Pretty good, hey?

I hope you liked the fact that I repeated the statement in the headline for this post twice. I was attempting to add enhanced geek-appeal by making it more like an announcement on a starship’s speaker system.  If I could have made it flash red I would have.

Battle stations!