rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

Ouch. My eyes are watering. And it’s not for the usual reason….

It turns out that Tiger Wood’s “Go Big or Go Home” approach to marital infidelity is going to cost him 750, 000, 000 dollars.

His hot wife (who has evidential forgotten that she is Swedish, and therefore was expected to indulge, possibly even encourage, Tiger’s proclivities) stands to walk away with this huge sum, plus the kids. The upside is that Tiger will be left with approximately 40 million dollars to spend on hookers and pornstars.

That’s plenty. Seriously.

I’ve looked into it.

RADAR Online – that impeccable source – has the story and says,

“When they first started negotiating the divorce, it was very acrimonious,” the source told RadarOnline.com. “Elin had a lawyer in California who was very, very aggressive.”

But we learned that Elin switched attorneys months ago and that took much of the anger out of the negotiations.

“Things are now very civil between Tiger and Elin – at least in terms of getting the divorce taken care of,” the source told RadarOnline.com.

Importantly, Radar Online also has “Exclusive Sexy Photos : All of Tiger’s Women!”.

So that’s alright then

Now if there is one rule that I live by, it’s “Go Big or Go Home.”

For those who are unfamiliar with this concept, “Go Big or Go Home” is a saying I made up ages ago to express, in a memorable form, the idea that half measures are a waste of time. Tiger Woods, who is right now hiding at TPC Sawgrass a scant dozen miles away from Bones HQ. has become a poster child for this philosophy.

You see, no matter what your moral position on adultery might be, You have got to admire the way Tiger went about it once he’d decided it was the thing for him. I mean, he really went for it, fucking literally dozens of enormously-racked hookers, bar maids and pornstars. I mean, what did he have to lose? I am told that once you do one you’re going to hell anyway……

Exhibit Alpha

You see, Tiger, whatever his faults as a human being, has earned my admiration for the barely fathomable way in which he has demolished his own reputation. You can imagine how it started – some ropey waitress with a worthwhile rack came on to him. He succumbed and found himself thinking ….Hang on…. I’m fricken’ Tiger Woods…. I can do better than this… Next thing he knows he’s shouting for a flunky, “Alphonse! Get the Bunny Ranch on the line. Tell them it’s Big Johnson and I am sending a Chinook.”

Okay, its not funny. There are children involved and a Swedish model wife* but I have still got to take my hat of to Tiger. No half measures. He went for it, balls to the wall. He may be a dangerous skank-shagger, but he still has some style…….

*where, incidentally, is the famous Swedish commitment to Free-Love I remember from my days over there….?