rivercityvibe   “Puerile, smutty, schoolboy nonsense” – My Mom

I have some seriously good news, guys. The new Victoria’s Secret swimsuit catalog is out. In celebration I am giving you not one, but two awesome babes for this week’s Something for the Weekend. I know, I spoil you. It’s a failing of mine. Ask the drones at Bones HQ – I’m like this all the time. It’s like being Santa’s son, working for me. Here’s Marissa Miller and Alessandro Ambrosio:

That’s all for now. Play nicely over the weekend. I’ll be on the beach if you need me……

This (below) is why I wear Calvin Klein underwear:

Yes, it Doutzen Kroes, the Dutch supermodel. She is currently the 14th highest paid model in the world, according to her Wikipedia page. Who knew?

She’s also in the VS gang……….

Ten out of ten. Seriously.

Seriously. I left Bones’ HQ for Bones’ Hideout at lunchtime, thinking I could grab a sandwich and a lunchtime cocktail. Maybe walk the dog, watch TV. As it turned out, I did none of these, because as I arrived, the mailman called me over and, with a wink and a nudge handed me the NEW Victoria’s Secret catalogue……… It meets the required standard. Here’s a preview:

Lima

Miller

Lima again

And it’s not even Friday!

The lovely Miranda Kerr. In her BeeBee......

Interesting fact about Miranda Kerr? First Australian Victoria’s Secret model.

I have already (naturally) commented on the recent double-awesome Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Since then, my agents further south have been constantly sending me new shots of various VS models using their downtime wisely on the beach. I have ignored these, choosing not to post them as part of my new commitment to a more equitable approach to postings. This involves balancing pictures of comely frippets with items that appeal to male and female readers equally.

I’m a closet feminist, see?

Anyway, I had to post the following freak-of-nature. It appears that one of the models, a Ms. Karolina Kurkova has been cavorting on the beach…. without a belly-button. Evidence follows:

Now, that ain’t right. I am pretty sure they burn people alive for such deformities in Palatka. The folks at the BBC have a technical and deathly boring explanation for it all. I love the comment made by Kurkova’s agent:

Ms Kurkova has not spoken publicly about how she came to have a smooth navel, and all her agent will say is “she’s not an alien”.

Now, I am told by people who know, that the first rule in handling situations like this is “never repeat the negative”. The example always used is of Richard Nixon. When he said, I am not a crook!” we knew he was a crook. In this case, the fact her agent has said, “she is not an alien” has convinced me beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is not of this world.

But, let’s face it, she could be eating mice like the lizards off V and It wouldn’t make a bit of difference if she visited my wigwam.

This is the best post ever. I won’t bore you with too much well-judged, cynical prose, I will just introduce the topic. We are discussing here, the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show:

I know, there have been far to many male-centric posts of late. I promise to throw our female readers a decent bone (kyak kyak) very soon. The problem is, I don’t think there is an equivalent experience in the life of a teenage girl to the 13 year old boy’s discovery of the Victoria’s Secret catalogue…….